I know you’re busy,
Doing good works,
Saying thanks to our Lord,
A good heart in your chest.

Your Sunday is busy,
With church and rehearsal,
To practice your words,
You inspiring nerd,

Not hearing from you,
Leaves a hole in my chest,
Maybe I’m overbearing at my best?
The self doubt creeps in,
It’s been a painful 18 hours since you last texted me.

I’ve been trying distraction,
Resisting the urge to make contact,
Fear I have scared you off,
Despite what you’ve said.


Fighting my own inner demons at play,
Wondering why I feel so inadequate today.

I know my feelings are to be put to one side,
And my heart should rest in Gods only ride,

I’m preparing myself to let go from the short time we had,
Is this the end of us talking, end of the fun?
Feeling scared, telling myself it’s not my inadequacy.

Am I being ghosted or shunned?
Who knows in the end,
My egos at play, it’s power trippin’.

For I am to humble myself to the Lord,
Keep my feet well in my own door.
Look after my house,
And my fatherless family.

For I am washed fresh in the eyes of the Lord,
Given myself back to Him once more,
So why does it matter if I’d like a man?

Why did you like me, was I just putty in your hand, or was it God’s plan to show me the ways,
No one is perfect, I’ll forgive anyway.

I’ll humble my soul, to the likes of God,
Made from the man, who is made from God,
Getting a shock as I read through the bible,
Draw dropping silence, as I learn to be quiet.

Humbling myself in the ways of a woman,
God loving, God fearing,
While singlehandedly child rearing.

But maybe your just busy,
Oh who am I to know.
Or maybe I’m ghosted,
For now, I’ll just pack away my ego.