Lockdown number three,
It’s only for a week,
The church pastors are cowering,
Fearing the men, weak.
We should have been in training,
For a situation like this,
For the weak men and falling,
As we pray for those to stumble as they speak.
Drive out the demons,
We’ve been called to do,
Are we taught this in church?
That is a no.
Boldly ask God for guidance,
In situations that seem blue,
Are we calling on God to help us walk through?
On faith of a mustard seed,
We are calling upon you,
Stand up, speak out,
There’s something you should do.
Make our voices loud,
And make our choices bold,
Stand for something in this demonized world.
Post letters to your local MPs,
Stating what you want,
Be polite,
Do it right,
Ask them “who will stand up for us” with all your might.
For silence, these days, is consent,
Only speak to the officials “under duress”,
Don’t contract with them under stress,
Don’t just hand them what they want.
Powers in Heaven,
God’s got it fold seven,
Compared to these little things on earth that conduse and demand,
Under the evil command,
Who Intimidate and invalidate.
Don’t fall for their lies,
Don’t fall under their eyes,
Caz man, God has got your back.
Go there and ask for protection,
Find your godly connection,
Sing praise he’s made a new day.
For the time is not over,
The end is not come,
This could be a 40 year stint.
You’ve read it in the bible,
So go and get off of your bums,
Don’t turn a blind face,
Don’t be glum,
Go and find hope in the world,
Find the God lovers,
Those with God on their side,
And don’t rest until there’s a good place we can reside.
Author: In Her Heart Healing
Perspective from a Mum.
You can start,
Bit you won’t finish,
You can begin with no end,
It’s the journey not the destination,
Sometimes feels like you can reach a nation,
Sometimes you can hit a mile,
Sometimes it’s just the destination,
Sufficient for her minds station.
Maybe the transitions are hard,
The stopping of one thing,
Then the start,
The moving to and fro,
Really gets to her little heart.
It’s not that she can’t do,
It’s not that she can’t find,
It’s that what she can’t process in her mind,
She’s unable to imagine well,
She’s unable to future-see,
Unable to look into the well you see.
Unable to look into her future,
Missing endless possibilities,
It’s only what’s in front of her,
Is only what she sees,
And when there’s change and no evidence,
It’s not in her minds abilities.
She is the most beautiful soul,
I have ever seen,
Gentle, kind and caring,
The most beautiful heart has she,
And though her life may be turmoil,
Going to and fro between,
It’s a splendid little life,
She has to share,
And all she wants to do is care.
Sometimes it comes out wrong,
And at times it not easy,
For her to say or do the right thing,
For her to show us she cares,
People take her the wrong way,
Sometimes she gets it wrong,
Her hearts always in the right place,
Has been all along.
Parenting Woes.
Journal. Breathe. Accept. Change.
Be mindful.
But ugh the kids won’t stop screaming at me.
I can’t pick the right YouTube video to cast upon the screen.
I can’t ever be entertaining enough, unless you’re squishing me.
You don’t want the food,
You don’t want your drink,
You just sculled your bottle,
And now you’re bored of me.
Outside its wet, and too muddy,
Mummys warm clothes no longer fit,
She’s just done her back in,
The inspection is looming,
N mums got a headache.
Children, stop screaming at me.
When I place you on the floor,
Let you pick your own movie,
When I’ve left the room,
And once I’ve shut the door,
I hear your happy burbles,
And the calm, content.
Why is it that I feel shot with a guilty mummy complex.
When I’m not in the room,
Your happy babbles fill the air,
Happy with the toy in front of you,
All I wanted was to show you I care.
The backlash is harsh,
For when you’re stuck on the floor,
And I rush in to help you,
You’re asking for more.
I keep trying,
I move you,
I give you a song,
I try and engage but you won’t sing along…
You want to play,
Not with me again today,
It seems like your hearts content like before.
The mum guilt pains me,
Right here in my chest,
I know that you love me,
Am I only good for rest?
I guess I can go to God for fulfilment,
I wish I could cuddle my children for a moment,
Not sick, not angry, not screaming at me,
Not tired, not lonely,
Just a cuddle to be.
To love and to show you that I care for you,
And perhaps to lift my spirits when I’m feeling a bit blue…
So I will be disheartened,
And I will turn to God.
He’s got my fulfillment,
My contentment,
He holds the sentiment,
Ready to go.
So I shall bow my head,
And I will pray,
God send me this happiness from your heart today,
Send me some joy, that I can be glad, that my kids rely upon me when they are mad.
Months in Faith.
Learning to lean on God,
Learning to repent, apologize.
Learning to forgive,
Learning to thrive,
Under God’s eyes.
Even in good times,
Even when I’m wrong,
Forgiving those that hurt me,
Even though I feel victim of their crimes,
I’m under God’s eyes.
It’s sometimes very hard,
It’s sometimes very tough,
To forgive those without a sorry,
When they throw you in the mud.
I’m learning to repent, as soon as I do wrong,
It’s good practice in my books,
As I talk to God.
Learning to forgive them,
Keeping them in my prayers,
Those thieves that make life harder,
Spiritual warfare.
I feel God resting near me,
He’s come round for a chat,
Checkin how I’m going,
Faithful seeds he is sewing.
Little by little,
By the grace of God,
My hard works will pay off when we come face to face.
Imperfectly perfect, is how he likes me.
I will never be the son of God,
But I can pray with He.
Banishing out Satan’s influence,
In patches all over my life,
He will take an inch a mile,
Can’t give him the rope,
Don’t let him make you smile.
For once he’s got a foothold,
A sneaky little hole,
Every little thing,
Is another to have you overthrown.
So banish all the bad stuff,
Anything under his command,
Banish it with Jesus name,
Pushing it out constantly,
All the bad stuffs all the same.
Close the door,
Like Adam should have done,
He should have taught Eve too,
Never engage with the serpent,
Caz you know just what he’ll do.
He will question you,
Make you question God,
“Science has all the answers”
Do not play his game.
He will take you for a ride,
Along the common path,
Bit like sheeple in a crowd,
You gotta know when to pass.
The long hard journey ahead,
Seems lonely it’s true,
Many flake around you,
And God will make you anew.
Do not fret, do not fear,
Our God is always near,
Repent, apologize, he will forgive you at least 539 times.
No need to be perfect,
No need to mimic God,
No need for “Sunday Christians”
No need for that perfectionism appearance.
So as I’m learning,
As I go,
I have found good leaders,
Who won’t talk to or frow.
A preacher and a teacher,
A man and a lady,
The preacher to teach me His ways,
How to be a good Christian woman, she will tell me.
To open the bible,
Open at God’s request,
He will show you what you need to know,
Put the effort in and He’s got the rest.
Uncertainties.
This uneasy feeling,
In the pit of my stomach,
It can’t come out,
It leaves me reeling,
Uncertain with energy that doesn’t know where to go,
It spins off a tail,
It cuts off my flow.
It’s little, it wants to grow,
Holding it down and it’s making me frown,
My head starts to ache,
It’s getting me down,
I wiggle uneasily without making a sound.
What is this feeling?
Uncertain, new waters,
Voyaging out like I’m trying to find new headquarters,
I’m feeling lost,
A little alone,
Searching for a place that feels like home.
I look up and I pray,
I banish this feeling in Jesus name,
I was better, until I opened my eyes,
The flood gates opened and the feeling is back,
Time to pray again about that.
It’s the feeling of trickery,
The feeling of fool,
The feeling of someone lying to you,
Making you question,
Making you doubt,
In God it’s time to find a new route.
So I sit and I breathe,
I shut my eyes tight,
For now I will pray again with all my might.
The Eve of You.
It’s the eve of your entrance to this world little man,
A time I hadn’t quite planned,
A few days early,
I couldn’t escape,
Then my waters did break.
I waited and waited,
Then Khristie arrived,
We waited and waited,
Without a sign,
Khristie took off,
Brought back pizza,
My requested lunch to much.
Then you said “oh no, there’s no room for food! I’ll get this labour started extremely soon”
And from that moment, the push and the pain, labourous love,
Moaning in pain,
The labour of love,
A distant mind,
Out of focus, out of line.
My body was heaving,
And nothing would come,
Your dad came by,
Then you thought you’d try.
A blubbering mess,
There on the floor,
Two friends and your dad to hear me roar.
Time stood still, in that long afternoon,
You knew it would be evening soon,
And out you emerged,
Tiny and goopy,
Precious, loved,
You threatened to go poopy.
Oh how I held your tiny slippery body,
There in my hands,
You undeniable beauty.
And there I will stop.
The photos I’ve got,
All thanks to Mille who came quite quickly.
That day to look back on,
That day to remember,
You are my son,
I’ll keep you forever.
For Myself
When I restring my guitar,
I break a peg,
So I order some new stuff,
Here before long enough,
I’m playing again,
More than twinkle twinkle little star,
My own shiz,
I’m doing my own biz.
For when I play my own song,
It comes from my heart,
Those feelings I felt,
Relived, healing.
I choose what I sing,
I choose what I write,
When I write it my way it comes with good might.
There’s enough in my life to fill up a book,
You have no idea the effort it took,
To build up myself,
To get where I am,
Confidence and vulnerability.
To say with each string,
What my heart is feeling,
It took a new form, uncovering.
To play out this beat,
To play out a tune,
It’s all coming out of my fingers so soon.
As I tune my guitar,
To play more than the star,
I want to try something else,
I want to raise my bar,
So I’ll start at the bottom,
I’ll start with my hand,
Fixing up my guitar,
I’ll work it out,
I use to go sit in a pout,
Recently I got the courage to let it all out.
I began writing,
I began rap,
I began singing,
I began, chap,
When I’m done,
I’ll talk to you,
Yes I’ll come,
And I’ll ask you,
If you want a song,
For a loved one,
For someone to sing along,
A life story,
A memorable moment,
Snippets of the day,
Captured in a forever song.
In Her Heart Healing 
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