Throwing things at me left and right,
Diagnosis, reports, centre front.
Demands, commands, threats and things they all expect,
But I am here to break the mould.

Take new shape as I arise,
Expect me,
I’m not coming in disguise,
No camoflauge or backing down,
Like a bullet train underground.

Thunder, fierce, passion, God,
Fury, upheaval, my debt is gone,
Fight the good fight,
Baptized or not,

Hold your own space,
You’ll need buckets of grace,
As you strike your feet and stand your ground,

For there is no time,
There is only now,
And for which do you chose to take your side,
Stand up among the crowd,
Stand out amongst the noise, so loud,

Shine with your courage,
Must the vulnerabilities in you and show them off to the world,
For each one shared is a burden eased on someone else’s mind,
And together we grow strong,

And heck yeah, I’ll sing along,
And maybe someone can teach me to dance,
But when its game time,
Assert your self with the position of higher power,
Go get the laws that are on your side,

Your rights and freedoms you should know,
Always have the ability to say no,
And in Australia, from what I’ve read,
You can shoot a copper cause no serious harm,
As the common people state,
It’s ridgy didge above mate,

But on one serious note, please don’t!

You have rights to decline sharing information,
With the law, with police or with the nation,
Only if they provide evidence of a wrong doing caused by you,
if not go gently give them the bird.

For you can say no,
To anything and everything,
They are made to jump through hoops, not us,
So stand up and fight,
Take back our rights,
And in turn we will be sure to overthrow,
The illegal corruption that the devil’s set upon this nation.

As my heart grows new,
Where there is life and fertile soil,
Seeds of change are planted,
They are blossoming and growing,

Growing and thriving,
Thriving and changing,
Changing and forming,
Forming and blooming,
Blooming and blossoming,
Blossoming in the most beautiful way,
Their God given beauty spreads out,
Like the wings of an eagle,
Bursting into beauty,
Encompassing it’s space,

Brilliant, rich, elegant, delicate,
Dancing in the wind.

Un-competing, unapologetic,
Natural.

The state of which it blooms,
Smiles surround it,
Talk about it,
Admire it,
Pick it and put it front and centre,
Show it off,
Smell is, kiss it, wish upon it.

They flower gets elevated.
The flower blooms only for itself.

There’s no external motivation,
no incentive other than its own sunshine.

It leads from the inside,
It’s a force to be reckoned with.
It creates beauty all around it just by being there.
It comforts, it leads from the core,
Just because.

Flower, my friend.

When I looked up from my task of the moment,
I saw a woman sitting here,
Relaxed, aged, rounded shoulders,
Kind, caring, worn.

A wears her heart on the sleeve kinda gal,
She sat there with a few shining silver hairs showing at the top of her twisted locks,
Her face was so inviting and warm,
I saw the squishy tummy flopping out as she relaxed,
Knowing it had carried four babies into the world,
And she was grateful.

She was rough round the edges,
Down to earth,
Dirty feet from adventure.

She’s had personal wars, it shows,
That her kind smile and starting wrinkles easily overthrows,
She carries the heavy burden well,
No stranger would know.

And as she looked,
For the first time,
There was no judgement.

This is empathy for herself.

* This one is painful, close to my heart and raw… Does contain swearing because some things are just not okay.

For the loss of an idea,
I grieve.
For the loss of an opportunity,
I breathe.
The thoughts you think where going to manifest,
Just lost.

Lost on a lonely path,
They fell through a hole on someone else’s path,
Their ideas took over,
Their fears ran ramped,
And my luck was like a three leaf clover.

My end scene of me holding him,
Cradling and care loving,
Went out the door with their suspicious whim,
And it was all for nothin’.

With squished dreams in hand,
And a lone woman I stand,
Crying in an empty room,
On two feet I had to make sure to land.

My heartache, my loss, my grief bundled up,
In my big emotional bag flung cross my back,
Hold my infant, they told me “nup”,
My heart broke just a bit more.

But breastfeeding, chest to chest is what’s best,
To even get his temperature up,
But hell, none of those nurse twats know,
The breastfeeding expert came down from above,
And spoke loudly to fall on deaf ears….

These nurses, in NICU ‘knew best’,
To get his temperature up he must rest,
In the incubator he lays,
For days and days, while these nurses ignored me like ignorant fucks,
Only answering questions because it’s a must,

No bedside manner, did these nurses own,
None in bloody sight.
None of them did, couldn’t keep their personal opinions to themselves,
Told me I’d kill my kid if it wasn’t for their magic basically….

So my dreams of holding my young infant boy,
Went days and days with only few minutes between when we could be close and near.

Those new bonding moments went way out the window,
It took me months to bond with my little baby boy.
Heartache, disappointment, anger and rage,
Fear, anxiety all ramped up in that month there after.

“But you can’t cope” they kept telling me,
All while I shouted loud inside “Why the fuck can’t you just support me?”

I can’t face it every day,
I can’t look back or turn away,
I can’t process more at once,
I have to let everything sink in.

I have to give it time to seep,
a time to let my heart rest,
The headache and my heart weep,
Today is a rest day, a time to lean in.

Today is at hand,
And might I try,
My brain has pushback against my heap.
Not today, says my brain.

Today is a rest day,
A time to restore.
To give you a break,
And let your heart stretch a little more.

Tomorrow is another day,
Maybe then I can face a little more,
From the pain that past time has caused.

….

I have learnt to listen to my body as a way of recharging myself… Share below with everyone here how you like to recharge.