Calling Broken Souls

October 21, 2021 by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Children,
Let them cry,
They know you’re there,
They feel you,
Show them how to hold,
Hold space,
Hold faith,
Strong hold of God,

In a dark of night,
In the snap of warfare,
When they children scream for external desires, once you’ve met their basic needs,
In the snap of tantrums,
In the snap of spiritual fire,
In the heat of the moment,
Call out His divine,

When depression hit dark,
In the middle of the night,
Not sleeping,
Not soundly,
No ones called the light,

In Jesus name I call you,
Come down upon those souls,
Heal and forgive them Lord,
Through their own terrible storms,

Heal the broken hearted,
Heal the dusty souls,
Heal the weak minded,
Heal them and us all,

In the name of the almighty,
In the name of our Lord,
In the name of the son,
In the name of our God,

Bring your graceful presence,
Heal the broken souls,
Rain down Your glory,
Heal our broken souls,

Be with us in the tough times,
Help us remember you in the grand,
Lord you’re with us forever,
Your presence in this land,

Help us speak the truth, Lord,
Drive our souls to your grace,
Shine your light from us, Lord,
Reveal your loving face,

Bless this land where we shall live,
Bless the ground beneath our feet,
Draw us into you Lord,
For we are children at your feet,

Lord give us the strength we need,
The blessings of your grace,
The blessing of your warm hugs,
Is done at your divine pace.

Lord, lead us into light,
The glory of your soul,
In Jesus name, forever,
We being glory to you Lord,
In Jesus name, I pray.
Amen.

Untamed

October 9, 2021 by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The black sludge a-standing,
Its audience applauding,
As it takes a grand bow on the stage,
It’s grimacing smile, it’s eyes will toil, and it’s sharp tongue is flicking around,

The heaviness of a lie so strong, it’s taken up this part of your soul,
So deep, so dark, so heavy and sharp,
It’s words piercing through sound like a sword,

So dangerous, unsafe, the “feelings” escape,
Giving whiplash to your soul,
Tearing down your ego at night,
Haunting your mind and keep you in flight,
It can’t get you when if you’re settled and cool.

It will freeze over, dry up and crack,
When the truth and light reflects upon its soul.

It will block your sun,
Squash your thoughts,
Scream and fight inside your soul,

It can’t be burned,
It can’t be earned,
The lies it keeps spewing from its hole.

The pits of despair,
Raging around everywhere,
The deep dark area of my heart,
Shaky and frail I stand with my sayin,
I will soften myself to you.

It rises up and shreaks,
Relinquishes it’s keep knowing I am saving my soul,
It screams and it squeales, it makes my earth quake,
As I expose the dark pits to my soft side.

A place for it to lay,
Frozen like dried clay,
Never to rise again,
Frozen in Time, it will crumble away,
It’s tried to have it’s say,
Forever now shut it will lay,

It was black sludge,
Made up of nothing more than Pixi dust,
Mostly my imaginary thoughts,

Exposed to the light,
It’s forever frozen in flight,
No more wrenching my soul,
It can’t tighten it’s grip,
From my throat it has slipped,
Fallen to its never more hole.

Dear father in heaven,
I pray for my heart, my mind and my soul,
Revoke any thing in me that is not from you,
Any thing complicated & everything untrue.
In my holy fathers, great providers sons name,
Amen.

Raw Realisations

September 30, 2021 by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Being abandoned – why can’t you just…
He couldn’t be the hero. He couldn’t save him. His testosterone went down. He didn’t feel like a man. He couldn’t show up for me. He couldn’t show up for him.

But I made him that way. “Men can’t handle strong women” was playing in my head, “just bloody show up man”.

But he didn’t. He couldn’t. I blamed him. It was me.

It was me who dominated. It was me who stole the testosterone in the relationship.

I caused this. Fuck that’s hard.

I was too much “an independent woman” and didn’t allow myself to be gentle, needy, soft. Neither was my heart.

Thyroid. Testosterone. Pumped ego.

Falling away.

Reckless abandonment on my life, can no longer, no longer want to hold it.

It’s been a year.

A year since our son was seizuring, severely dehydrated.

A year since his eyes rolled around his little head.

I thought this was done. I thought this was over. It has to burn in me, and let the ash heal my soul.

For he did not enjoy my ultra-independance, enough drive for the both of us.

It ruined us.

It was me.

No time for soft n gentle,
No time for faff,
No time, and who wants to be needy?
That’s NOT my wrap.

Ego.

Pride.

Shame.

I call you out.

I am the one who got the way out.

I am the one who went in with imbalance, I went into a relationship with no need for a man.

I went and had kids, my two beautiful souls,
One I almost lost, thanks to my prideful ego.

I’m not proud of the fact,
Not of how I chose to act.

Not abandoning my post,
My ego “ultra independent” intact.

I didn’t need him, not from the get go,
But when he abandoned me, in my time of need,
I’ve been blaming him since the get go.

Since our child was hospitalized,
When he could have died.
A week old,
So tiny,
For my ego and pride.

Tubes too big for his little body,
The things wouldn’t fit,
The things he needed,
To fix his dehydrated body,
My huge mess.

I blamed him for so long,
His pride, his ego, his lack of testosterone.

Looking past my faults, I couldn’t see them til now.
Man up, I’d think as my ego would bow.

I need this softness to enter my life,
This wonderful God I found by my side,
Taking us up, me and my son, in his hour of need,
Sending his angles to work and watch over him.

The relationship crumbled,
It fell to the ground,
I stumbled on pieces,
That fell all around.

I silenced it. I switched it off.
I shut the door to the face,
I once adored.

I can’t go back there,
Where the healing lies.
To say sorry would be abandon my pride.

To go where I don’t want to.
To go where it’s clear.
To have a relationship I once held so dear.

I’ve tarried with it a year,
I won’t go back, ever – I’d say…

He could want me back,
And I want to heal.

It feels like a warm spot in a cool swimming pool.

It hurts my heart, and it hurts my head,
I still have a shit tonne to process yet.

Thanks to God, and thanks to my new group, them all,
I have started my journey to heal my soul.

I will take a breath, I will welcome it in,
The feelings of abandonment,
Coming flooding in.