God stands by me,
When I feel hollowed out,
Unjust, imperfect, full ruffled, feeling without,
He finds a way for me to be light,
Filled up by grace, his spirit filled might,
He stands by me,
Not in front nor behind,
Always by my side,
Even though the long dark night,
To remember his promise,
His only given son,
Gave his blood for us,
So one day I might shine His light
How much do I think I’m worth?
A crumpled up $100 note?
Am I worth the time to take care of me?
Making me a priority,
Looking after my health?
Do I think somedays I’m a crumpled bag,
Dirtied in the side walk?
Not worth good food,
Or to even find the strength to talk?
How much do I think I’m worth?
Why does it vary so?
Am I different one day to the next,
Should I allow myself to take the blow?
For I am nothing short of Gods creation,
A beautiful perfect art work,
One of his children,
And so, why do I question my value?
I am totally worth the walk to my kids school,
And that extra glass of water,
I am totally worth listening to my body,
After all it’s the temple we are granted.
I am worth more than gold in the eyes of our Lord,
So why do I sit here, day after day and question my own worth?
For I am worth a thousand more rubies,
I am worth more than a pot of gold,
So why do I not think that day after day,
Why do I take the low road?
For sometimes I need a reminder,
That getting close to God can hurt,
Satan’s tricky lies come close,
To purge me from my perch.
Sometimes I need to remember,
The love that has created me,
The God given gifts of creation,
Packed up entirely in me.
Lord I pray, for anyone here reading this that they realise their worth here on this earth and may you strengthen their ways each day.
In Jesus name, amen.
You don’t see miracles,
Because they are hard to explain,
They dont have a start and and end point,
Not a storyline or villan to blame.
There is no hero,
Only the solumn humans who pray,
Believe in the highest power,
Give my faith over,
Tread wobbly on his stable rocks,
One by one they appear,
Strudy and faithful are God’s hands.
He mends the unmendable,
He heals the sick,
He made the tiny tubes for my son fit.
The miracles that save,
The miracles that heal,
My son’s veins and brain and body held together,
He didn’t let his veins collapse.
He held his veins up strong,
He was always holding on,
Matthews life’s a blessing,
Unexplainable and true,
I am thankful everyday for the son I have to call my little dude,
For miracles aren’t seen, reported on or explained,
But to have a little faith,
God grew a miracle from my tiny infant boys on the brink of collapsing veins.
This story isn’t over, he’s got his whole life ahead,
The unexplainable boy, who recovered from his very near death bed.
14 months has gone by,
And I’m healing more each day,
Tears come and go,
And my faith remains the same.
Thank you God for letting my son call me Mum and for blessing my family with his presence in our lives each and every day.
Amen.
I welcome in the ugly feeling,
Suffocating.
The shame, the guilt and and welcoming the blaming,
Deflecting, rejecting, negotiating,
Souls on the line, I’m suffocating,
The empty, the hurt, the suffering,
The silence, the boredom, disengaging,
Self sabotaging,
The frustration, the headaches, the isolation,
The banishment, undetected,
Living a lie, always breathing,
Fighting, shouting, blasting of my lungs,
Headaches spinning round, heads on the pound,
The hurt, the heavy, the empty in my soul,
Rupturing above the sky high cloud,
Scaring, the blasting, the sound of my cry,
From deep in my soul on the darkest of night.
Lord, I pray that you be with me now, in the valley of darkness you’ll be my rod and my staff and you’ll comfort me. In Jesus name, amen..
Backlap is the rap that haunts me to the core,
The screaming, the yelling, the reflection of my soul,
Built up in my children, my voices of the past,
Haunting, crying, demanding my time more, more, more.
Tag teaming, the screaming, no room for a breather,
Twelve year Olds up in the shits-a, crying poor.
Tense from the thought of school holidays, can’t face my fears, my own cryings poor.
Healing is hard, it’s ugly truth,
Right up in my face until I hit the roof,
Traits from my parents all bottled up tight, flying off the handle is how I saw them fight,
Now I am an adult, they belittle me, for they see their ways, so ugly,
I need to heal, my mind wants to hide, the deep dark hole is what it fears inside.
In I dare peep, ready to shine that light, blazing in my soul from the creator of right,
The one who walks with me through the shadow valley, the one who walks with me when things are full blazing,
I haven’t forgotten to be grateful to you, the one with the guiding rod, and the souls flashlight too.
Thank you God for watching and being with me on my healing path. Amen.
I’m tired that they tag team,
One after the other,
Crying, screaming, sooking,
Leading one another,
It is 1am, and I’ve been up twice now,
All for over nothing,
Didn’t really want me,
Didn’t respond when I asked,
In fact I was
Completely ignored,
Like she never called,
Now a screaming baby,
In the room not so far away,
Screaming because he heard his sister,
Crying as she lay,
And in these morning hours,
I can not be annoyed,
Tired, I slept early because I was sure,
Good night’s can’t happen twice in a single row…
Gotta allow for the rough night’s because they tend to follow row.
And now the house is quiet I hear my stomach rumbling,
I’m feeling thirsty, and quite annoyed,
But now I’m all tucked in, so snuggly…
Sorry body, not tonight. I’m not getting up again.
Don’t wanna smash my face in to the wall or trip or stumblin’,
And so instead I’ll talk to God,
And yet the baby has woken yet again,
This time smashing his head on my nose,
I’m so tired, God knows,
I pray he goes just go back to sleep…
And in the morning when he wakes, he will be happy that he did.
Going through some hard stuff today,
Been talking with our Lord in my own way,
Sometimes praying, mostly knowing he’s right there,
Giving me advice so I don’t sway.
Giving me confidence and the scripts to stand strong,
Giving me messages so I can’t go wrong,
Giving me answers so I can be guided right,
Enough so I can sleep well tonight.
In Her Heart Healing 
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