Breathtaking Ripples of Beauty are you.

November 21, 2021November 21, 2021 by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Your ripples,
They astound me,
Pinging through the atmosphere,
I can listen for your ring,
The tiny splash you make in day to day life,
Cascades through people’s lives who are watching and listening,
Insignificant thing,
Your ripples make waves,
Strong hold on some people,
Beautiful cascade,
Your little tiny insignificance,
Ripples on and on,
Through the grocery store,
In a concert line,
For you never know your impact,
The sound of your waves,
For won’t you trust me when I say,
You can make tidal waves…
Rippling through the universe of people unknown to you,
As you walk on by them in the street,
Or ignore their existence,
Some notice you,
Even if you’re small and meek,
Feelings of insignificance at it’s peak,
You, your waves,
You matter.

Impact isn’t key, but it’s very much worth pondering,
Who lives you may have changed just by being.
I am.
Existence.
Impact.
Difference.

You matter, if you’re struggling reach out. Get help. You are much more important than you know.

Sending love. From me.

Dedicated to two of my loved ones who may be struggling. I can’t do life without you!

Marks and scars from yesterday

October 23, 2021October 26, 2021 by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Holding space for the feelings,
Letting them flood in,
Quiet, meek and selfish,
The emotional lords come in,

Telling me lies and fakery,
Got the tricks up their sleeves,
Uninterested, bland, distasteful,
The doubts start creeping in.

You’ll be alone forever,
Way to stuff that one up,
You have no time in the world,
It almost makes you wanna hurl,

The lies and the fakery,
Confusion and the blame,
Anger and unforgiving,
All end up the same,

Stinking, festering, taking a-hold,
Gripping fast on its prey,
Bunkering down for nights on end,
Waiting for it’s victory day…

But festering feelings never come to much,
And that’s not what I’ve been told,
Straight from the word of the mouth,
From our great and mighty God.

Forgive those time and time and time again,
Even when they are sour,
Even when their best foots festering,
When they repent, give them loving power,

Show them grace, show them love,
Show them your inner light,
Let them know you’re alright.

Even when they don’t repent,
Forgive them still, anyway.
For they know not the burden they’ve caused,
They might not care anyway,

Forgive them of your own free will,
It’s simple, do it today,
For keeping the burden they don’t know,
Isn’t on their mind anyway,

Your energy is better spent,
Doing things you love,
You know why, right my love?
The impact you’ll make will forever go beyond and above,

But you need to forgive those who once you loved.

For those who hurt you,
The same applies,
You’ll loose your sleep, while they shut their eyes,
You won’t rest until something is done,
So do it now, your work can be done,

For tomorrow you’ll wake,
Your soul is tired,
Restless, broken, you’ll head uninspired,
So you’ll play the same loop, again and again,
Until you do something,
My dear best friend.

Forgive them, even when it hurts,
It’s unjust, unfeeling, and for sure the pain will crust,
It’s ugly, it’s painful, and you didn’t deserve that shit,
That person was an ass to you,
But they won’t admit.

So heal yourself,
And heal your pain,
The marks and the scars from yesterday.

Dear Lord,
I pray for anyone reading this, anyone going through a hard time right now, anyone fighting demons telling them they aren’t good enough, that they are unforgivable, that they can’t forgive, I pray that your love fall upon us, teach us how to forgive. In Jesus name, banish those demons, their lies, their fog and confusion. I pray over everyone reading this today, that you may work in their hearts, and bring light into their life where the darkness is grasping at.
In Jesus name, amen.

Come on over to my website and check out the courses to begin your journey from hurting to healing http://www.inherhearthealing.com

Calling Broken Souls

October 21, 2021 by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Children,
Let them cry,
They know you’re there,
They feel you,
Show them how to hold,
Hold space,
Hold faith,
Strong hold of God,

In a dark of night,
In the snap of warfare,
When they children scream for external desires, once you’ve met their basic needs,
In the snap of tantrums,
In the snap of spiritual fire,
In the heat of the moment,
Call out His divine,

When depression hit dark,
In the middle of the night,
Not sleeping,
Not soundly,
No ones called the light,

In Jesus name I call you,
Come down upon those souls,
Heal and forgive them Lord,
Through their own terrible storms,

Heal the broken hearted,
Heal the dusty souls,
Heal the weak minded,
Heal them and us all,

In the name of the almighty,
In the name of our Lord,
In the name of the son,
In the name of our God,

Bring your graceful presence,
Heal the broken souls,
Rain down Your glory,
Heal our broken souls,

Be with us in the tough times,
Help us remember you in the grand,
Lord you’re with us forever,
Your presence in this land,

Help us speak the truth, Lord,
Drive our souls to your grace,
Shine your light from us, Lord,
Reveal your loving face,

Bless this land where we shall live,
Bless the ground beneath our feet,
Draw us into you Lord,
For we are children at your feet,

Lord give us the strength we need,
The blessings of your grace,
The blessing of your warm hugs,
Is done at your divine pace.

Lord, lead us into light,
The glory of your soul,
In Jesus name, forever,
We being glory to you Lord,
In Jesus name, I pray.
Amen.

Un-empathetic Me, Learning.

October 1, 2021October 1, 2021 by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Empathy

I have struggled with empathy all of my life

I’m too cold or distant a half assed life,

I could only see one way,

To blunt, too short,

Untactful, raw.

When I was young, I did some reading about it,

Implemented the advice, understand their feelings.

Live in the other persons shoes for a moment,

Put yourself there, and step in for a moment.

So I did just that, understood perspectives,

Still cold, distant, untactful,

It didn’t feel empathising.

I still felt cold, distant, alone,

And anything I said was like a faulty phone,

A broken cord, the line was muffled,

Crap communication,

My life simply sucked.

But empathy is the human moments that matter,

Understanding fear and overwhelm and the moments that scatter,

Leaning in and feeling the hurt, the loss, the deep deep dark hurtful hurt,

The confusing times, the mislead ways,

The sweet loving eyes that once have been betrayed,

And saying you feel it,

You feel their great joys, their hurt and their sorrows and giving them time for their pains and their tomorrows.

Raw Realisations

September 30, 2021 by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Being abandoned – why can’t you just…
He couldn’t be the hero. He couldn’t save him. His testosterone went down. He didn’t feel like a man. He couldn’t show up for me. He couldn’t show up for him.

But I made him that way. “Men can’t handle strong women” was playing in my head, “just bloody show up man”.

But he didn’t. He couldn’t. I blamed him. It was me.

It was me who dominated. It was me who stole the testosterone in the relationship.

I caused this. Fuck that’s hard.

I was too much “an independent woman” and didn’t allow myself to be gentle, needy, soft. Neither was my heart.

Thyroid. Testosterone. Pumped ego.

Falling away.

Reckless abandonment on my life, can no longer, no longer want to hold it.

It’s been a year.

A year since our son was seizuring, severely dehydrated.

A year since his eyes rolled around his little head.

I thought this was done. I thought this was over. It has to burn in me, and let the ash heal my soul.

For he did not enjoy my ultra-independance, enough drive for the both of us.

It ruined us.

It was me.

No time for soft n gentle,
No time for faff,
No time, and who wants to be needy?
That’s NOT my wrap.

Ego.

Pride.

Shame.

I call you out.

I am the one who got the way out.

I am the one who went in with imbalance, I went into a relationship with no need for a man.

I went and had kids, my two beautiful souls,
One I almost lost, thanks to my prideful ego.

I’m not proud of the fact,
Not of how I chose to act.

Not abandoning my post,
My ego “ultra independent” intact.

I didn’t need him, not from the get go,
But when he abandoned me, in my time of need,
I’ve been blaming him since the get go.

Since our child was hospitalized,
When he could have died.
A week old,
So tiny,
For my ego and pride.

Tubes too big for his little body,
The things wouldn’t fit,
The things he needed,
To fix his dehydrated body,
My huge mess.

I blamed him for so long,
His pride, his ego, his lack of testosterone.

Looking past my faults, I couldn’t see them til now.
Man up, I’d think as my ego would bow.

I need this softness to enter my life,
This wonderful God I found by my side,
Taking us up, me and my son, in his hour of need,
Sending his angles to work and watch over him.

The relationship crumbled,
It fell to the ground,
I stumbled on pieces,
That fell all around.

I silenced it. I switched it off.
I shut the door to the face,
I once adored.

I can’t go back there,
Where the healing lies.
To say sorry would be abandon my pride.

To go where I don’t want to.
To go where it’s clear.
To have a relationship I once held so dear.

I’ve tarried with it a year,
I won’t go back, ever – I’d say…

He could want me back,
And I want to heal.

It feels like a warm spot in a cool swimming pool.

It hurts my heart, and it hurts my head,
I still have a shit tonne to process yet.

Thanks to God, and thanks to my new group, them all,
I have started my journey to heal my soul.

I will take a breath, I will welcome it in,
The feelings of abandonment,
Coming flooding in.

Cry out in the dark.

September 26, 2021 by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I welcome in the ugly feeling,
Suffocating.
The shame, the guilt and and welcoming the blaming,
Deflecting, rejecting, negotiating,
Souls on the line, I’m suffocating,
The empty, the hurt, the suffering,
The silence, the boredom, disengaging,
Self sabotaging,
The frustration, the headaches, the isolation,
The banishment, undetected,
Living a lie, always breathing,
Fighting, shouting, blasting of my lungs,
Headaches spinning round, heads on the pound,
The hurt, the heavy, the empty in my soul,
Rupturing above the sky high cloud,
Scaring, the blasting, the sound of my cry,
From deep in my soul on the darkest of night.

Lord, I pray that you be with me now, in the valley of darkness you’ll be my rod and my staff and you’ll comfort me. In Jesus name, amen..

Unpretty Truth.

September 25, 2021 by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Backlap is the rap that haunts me to the core,
The screaming, the yelling, the reflection of my soul,
Built up in my children, my voices of the past,
Haunting, crying, demanding my time more, more, more.
Tag teaming, the screaming, no room for a breather,
Twelve year Olds up in the shits-a, crying poor.
Tense from the thought of school holidays, can’t face my fears, my own cryings poor.
Healing is hard, it’s ugly truth,
Right up in my face until I hit the roof,
Traits from my parents all bottled up tight, flying off the handle is how I saw them fight,
Now I am an adult, they belittle me, for they see their ways, so ugly,
I need to heal, my mind wants to hide, the deep dark hole is what it fears inside.
In I dare peep, ready to shine that light, blazing in my soul from the creator of right,
The one who walks with me through the shadow valley, the one who walks with me when things are full blazing,
I haven’t forgotten to be grateful to you, the one with the guiding rod, and the souls flashlight too.

Thank you God for watching and being with me on my healing path. Amen.