Tag: mental health

Shame of invisible pain.

Shame of invisible pain.

by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

My inability to do things,
Brings me deep shame and discomfort,
Making me hide the blame.

I can’t do anything about it,
I could and actually I do,
My mindset is as strong because of my discomfort,
And my inability to do…

I can’t do things that requires wrist strength,
I’ve always struggled, from playing sports to holding pots,
I was and am never much good.

I can’t hold heavy things for long with my hands,
My wrists give way, cave in, folding,
Buckling to the strain….

Buttons on my hips areas, little pockets in my pants,
Finicky little things and whatnot become a task to do.

I always thought I was clumsy,
Smashing down the plates,
Accidentally almost dropping them was just in due course,
Otherwise if I wasn’t clumsy with my shitty wrists I was seen as slow and lazy,
Fumbling over the bits…

And it crushed my self esteem,
Having shitty wrists…
Couldn’t see the problem,
Well then it can’t exist.

The things those labels did to me,
Being slow, lazy or careless…
I could just be slow and careful…
Or quick and careless…

Deep shame and worthlessness,
Pains me to this day,
Having my teenage daughter struggle,
Makes me wonder if her wrists are the same…..




Just because something isn’t understood or if it’s unseen doesn’t mean it magically doesn’t exist. Be nice to those you meet, especially if you disagree.



Marks and scars from yesterday

Marks and scars from yesterday

by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Holding space for the feelings,
Letting them flood in,
Quiet, meek and selfish,
The emotional lords come in,

Telling me lies and fakery,
Got the tricks up their sleeves,
Uninterested, bland, distasteful,
The doubts start creeping in.

You’ll be alone forever,
Way to stuff that one up,
You have no time in the world,
It almost makes you wanna hurl,

The lies and the fakery,
Confusion and the blame,
Anger and unforgiving,
All end up the same,

Stinking, festering, taking a-hold,
Gripping fast on its prey,
Bunkering down for nights on end,
Waiting for it’s victory day…

But festering feelings never come to much,
And that’s not what I’ve been told,
Straight from the word of the mouth,
From our great and mighty God.

Forgive those time and time and time again,
Even when they are sour,
Even when their best foots festering,
When they repent, give them loving power,

Show them grace, show them love,
Show them your inner light,
Let them know you’re alright.

Even when they don’t repent,
Forgive them still, anyway.
For they know not the burden they’ve caused,
They might not care anyway,

Forgive them of your own free will,
It’s simple, do it today,
For keeping the burden they don’t know,
Isn’t on their mind anyway,

Your energy is better spent,
Doing things you love,
You know why, right my love?
The impact you’ll make will forever go beyond and above,

But you need to forgive those who once you loved.

For those who hurt you,
The same applies,
You’ll loose your sleep, while they shut their eyes,
You won’t rest until something is done,
So do it now, your work can be done,

For tomorrow you’ll wake,
Your soul is tired,
Restless, broken, you’ll head uninspired,
So you’ll play the same loop, again and again,
Until you do something,
My dear best friend.

Forgive them, even when it hurts,
It’s unjust, unfeeling, and for sure the pain will crust,
It’s ugly, it’s painful, and you didn’t deserve that shit,
That person was an ass to you,
But they won’t admit.

So heal yourself,
And heal your pain,
The marks and the scars from yesterday.



Dear Lord,
I pray for anyone reading this, anyone going through a hard time right now, anyone fighting demons telling them they aren’t good enough, that they are unforgivable, that they can’t forgive, I pray that your love fall upon us, teach us how to forgive. In Jesus name, banish those demons, their lies, their fog and confusion. I pray over everyone reading this today, that you may work in their hearts, and bring light into their life where the darkness is grasping at.
In Jesus name, amen.

Come on over to my website and check out the courses to begin your journey from hurting to healing http://www.inherhearthealing.com


Co-parenting… Kinda?

Co-parenting… Kinda?

by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

How can I have four kids and deal with shit okay,
But the kids dad’s just don’t show up for their kids each day?

All in denial, all in their own shit,
Can’t see through their crap,
For the sake of their kids,

One’s recently ditched her,
The other knows about the dry skin, generic condition,
But does he do shit to help it?
No he skips that shit.

He leaves soap in his bath,
Doesn’t moisturize him after,
Couldn’t give two shit about his skin,
No that’s not what he’s after…

He’s after my reaction,
He forces me into this shit,
Makes me get mad,
All to get me to talk to him,
Because he’s emotionally abusive and mad.

He’s used the kids as pawns before,
And he is doing it again,
All because he’s lost me,
And is regretting his decision again.

I’m not falling, not this time,
For the shit and the lies,
And those pathetic puppy helpless eyes.

He can forget it,
I can forgive but not forget.
Forcing myself to stop caring for him was my decision,
And I’m not looking back.

I’ll try and be civil, I’ll try and be nice.
I have tried to forgive,
I need to practice thrice….

His mind games are awful,
Like cornering me into confess,
Something I didn’t do,
It is all in his head.

I have a lot to work on,
It’s one big mess,
But what I promise myself is the best promise yet.

I’ve seen my bad loops, my kink in the line,
I see where I stuff up, and I let slack the line,
I’m picking up the mess,
But where is he?
Literally trashing my front yard,
Because he’s fucking angry?!

Breaking the agreements,
On 3 times what I earn,
With a grown adult son,
Working is his concern,
Can’t pay full child support,
Can’t care for his own shit,

Can’t keep on his finances,
Can’t keep up with any of it.

I know this feels like I’m dumping on him,
But step up to the line mate,
Your turn was waiting….

Never paid for us financially,
Never the bread winner,
Blowing his budget on overpriced cars,

Never bought home the bacon,
Never cleaned up the mess,
Unmotivated,
Untidy,
Grumpy,
Emotionally a mess.

DCP didn’t even look at him, and he freaked right out,
What is he hiding,
Something no doubt.

Like literally all the shit was on me,
All he saw himself doing was “baby sitting”
And that more than I should be grateful for right after having his baby…

But I buy you nice things on the weekend, he says,
Like he can buy my love,
Caz my heart ain’t there.

But treat her nice, and buy her new things,
Well man, move on,
He can go find a girl who wants his funk ass attitude and his skint ass money.

He finds it too hard to moisturize his kid,
Feed them decent, it’s all takeaway yet,
N no coke before bed, they are less than TWO!

I pray for the capacity to move on from this toxic and heavy load, in Jesus name. Amen.

Come on over to my website and check out the courses to begin your journey from hurting to healing http://www.inherhearthealing.com

Calling Broken Souls

Calling Broken Souls

by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Children,
Let them cry,
They know you’re there,
They feel you,
Show them how to hold,
Hold space,
Hold faith,
Strong hold of God,

In a dark of night,
In the snap of warfare,
When they children scream for external desires, once you’ve met their basic needs,
In the snap of tantrums,
In the snap of spiritual fire,
In the heat of the moment,
Call out His divine,

When depression hit dark,
In the middle of the night,
Not sleeping,
Not soundly,
No ones called the light,

In Jesus name I call you,
Come down upon those souls,
Heal and forgive them Lord,
Through their own terrible storms,

Heal the broken hearted,
Heal the dusty souls,
Heal the weak minded,
Heal them and us all,

In the name of the almighty,
In the name of our Lord,
In the name of the son,
In the name of our God,

Bring your graceful presence,
Heal the broken souls,
Rain down Your glory,
Heal our broken souls,

Be with us in the tough times,
Help us remember you in the grand,
Lord you’re with us forever,
Your presence in this land,

Help us speak the truth, Lord,
Drive our souls to your grace,
Shine your light from us, Lord,
Reveal your loving face,

Bless this land where we shall live,
Bless the ground beneath our feet,
Draw us into you Lord,
For we are children at your feet,

Lord give us the strength we need,
The blessings of your grace,
The blessing of your warm hugs,
Is done at your divine pace.

Lord, lead us into light,
The glory of your soul,
In Jesus name, forever,
We being glory to you Lord,
In Jesus name, I pray.
Amen.








One for the women…

One for the women…

by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Oh I’m feeling bogged down,

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Smashed by my body,

Attacking itself,

Because I didn’t create life,

My bodies inflamed, 

Its hot to the touch,

Uncomfortable, squeezing, expanding too much,

Drained, faint, dehydrated, disconnected,

Unengaged, tired, selfceare out the window.

I need another drink,

Anemia on the brink?

I can’t even comprehend, let alone think.

My body is screaming,

Pushing at me,

And I am responding by utterly ignoring.

I’m ignoring the aches,

The pushing pain,

The bloating,

The headaches,

That constant energy drain,

I gotta get up, 

I need to move now,

When all my body wants to do is go fast to sleep.

I force myself awake,

Needing to parent some more,

Putting up with screams, 

I fear there will be more….

My eyes are hanging,

Half out of my head,

As I start my to do list before I head to bed.

Self worth.

Self worth.

by In Her Heart Healing ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

How much do I think I’m worth?
A crumpled up $100 note?
Am I worth the time to take care of me?
Making me a priority,
Looking after my health?

Do I think somedays I’m a crumpled bag,
Dirtied in the side walk?
Not worth good food,
Or to even find the strength to talk?

How much do I think I’m worth?
Why does it vary so?
Am I different one day to the next,
Should I allow myself to take the blow?

For I am nothing short of Gods creation,
A beautiful perfect art work,
One of his children,
And so, why do I question my value?

I am totally worth the walk to my kids school,
And that extra glass of water,
I am totally worth listening to my body,
After all it’s the temple we are granted.
I am worth more than gold in the eyes of our Lord,
So why do I sit here, day after day and question my own worth?

For I am worth a thousand more rubies,
I am worth more than a pot of gold,
So why do I not think that day after day,
Why do I take the low road?

For sometimes I need a reminder,
That getting close to God can hurt,
Satan’s tricky lies come close,
To purge me from my perch.

Sometimes I need to remember,
The love that has created me,
The God given gifts of creation,
Packed up entirely in me.

Lord I pray, for anyone here reading this that they realise their worth here on this earth and may you strengthen their ways each day.
In Jesus name, amen.