Chat

Perspective from a Mum.

You can start,
Bit you won’t finish,
You can begin with no end,
It’s the journey not the destination,
Sometimes feels like you can reach a nation,
Sometimes you can hit a mile,
Sometimes it’s just the destination,
Sufficient for her minds station.

Maybe the transitions are hard,
The stopping of one thing,
Then the start,
The moving to and fro,
Really gets to her little heart.

It’s not that she can’t do,
It’s not that she can’t find,
It’s that what she can’t process in her mind,
She’s unable to imagine well,
She’s unable to future-see,
Unable to look into the well you see.
Unable to look into her future,
Missing endless possibilities,

It’s only what’s in front of her,
Is only what she sees,
And when there’s change and no evidence,
It’s not in her minds abilities.

She is the most beautiful soul,
I have ever seen,
Gentle, kind and caring,
The most beautiful heart has she,

And though her life may be turmoil,
Going to and fro between,
It’s a splendid little life,
She has to share,
And all she wants to do is care.

Sometimes it comes out wrong,
And at times it not easy,
For her to say or do the right thing,
For her to show us she cares,
People take her the wrong way,
Sometimes she gets it wrong,
Her hearts always in the right place,
Has been all along.


Chat

Not for the Narcs.

Centrelink scammer is all you see,
Living freely, carelessly,
Assumptions are made, disregard,
All because you go to work and work hard,

But what you don’t see is me,
Living faithfully,
Managing little people’s big emotions carefully.
And what you don’t see,
Is the appointments made,
Rearranged, and made again,
Follow ups,
The car drives,
Medical stuff,
Well I can’t let that slide,
Accountability to others,
And their knowledgeable way,
Helping my kids be a functional human,
Society may accept one day,

You don’t see the meltdowns,
The whole body throws,
The tears, the feelings these little kids crow,

And all while you say I just sit on my bum,
Have a free life,
Where I am rich and have it all my way,
In your mind, I’m just having a ball,
Everything is my way,
I should always do better,
And my good enough is never written in your letter.

Not to mention the nappy changes,
I have three, while most of the time you have none,
And while I sit here, writing this out,
I’m praying to God to stop this urge to let you know how I’m really feeling,

Cleaning up, laundering.
Fixing scrapes and bruises,
Headaches and runny noses,
Meals and snacks,
Food shopping,
Don’t forget the upcoming house inspection,
I can’t forget to chase you up dad?
Who scrapes by bare minimum?
While you can’t afford full child support,
But get 4 times more than I do…

And in you house it’s only you,
With your adult child,
Your income would be close to $80k
And you can’t afford to pay?

Here I am, single mum of four,
Living on 1/4 of your income and yet I can’t be poor,
Rolling in the luxuries,
Must be the way,
You don’t see my car needs new breaks,
Fan belt, only just operating.

The broken window I have to pay for because the landlord didn’t want to fix the glass door that sticks…
Another thing I have to organize on my list.

But I can’t, because I have to get my kids stuff seen to.
Paying for another pair of prescription glasses,
My child lost her new ones,
Though they are probably at the school because they don’t pack them up half the time,
But that’s also my fault I can’t find them, like it’s some sort of a crime.

And what do our kids eat?
Don’t you know, they are old enough you should know!
My fridge is full of fruit and vegetables,
Good nut spreads and breads,
Watered down juice and water,
Why what do they eat at yours, mortar?

They come home clogged up, constipated,
And what I am doing is not nearly enough?
Who does the hydro runs,
Avoiding obvious puns,
Around you constantly holding my tongue.

Two of your kids and suddenly I’m no fun?
Really, I wonder if it was almost prolapse that got me, hun?
Or the fact my backs almost literally breaking,
It’s still not enough,
I should have predicted,
And it’s all my way,
Like I’m psychic and planned it this way.










Chat

The Generational Blessing

I am not my mum
But my mum was me,
I can’t be in my mother’s shoes,
But she has the greatest empathy for me.

As a woman in her thirties,
Having a preteen daughter,
I can now see what my mum sees in me,

For I was her,
That girl in the same shoes,
Mskin choices and didn’t know what to choose,

Doubting myself and my ways,
For days and days,
Those memories don’t fade,

To see my girl,
Where I was in time,
For the choice’s she makes,
That are not mine,

For the path she chooses is no less or more,
It’s just another path this girl hasn’t yet explored.

Back to my mother,
Her empathy in uproar,
As she feels my pain,
As I lay with my boy,

She knows what I need,
She’s been here before,
She was the thirty year old girl,
Exploring the world.