Marks and scars from yesterday

Marks and scars from yesterday

Holding space for the feelings,
Letting them flood in,
Quiet, meek and selfish,
The emotional lords come in,

Telling me lies and fakery,
Got the tricks up their sleeves,
Uninterested, bland, distasteful,
The doubts start creeping in.

You’ll be alone forever,
Way to stuff that one up,
You have no time in the world,
It almost makes you wanna hurl,

The lies and the fakery,
Confusion and the blame,
Anger and unforgiving,
All end up the same,

Stinking, festering, taking a-hold,
Gripping fast on its prey,
Bunkering down for nights on end,
Waiting for it’s victory day…

But festering feelings never come to much,
And that’s not what I’ve been told,
Straight from the word of the mouth,
From our great and mighty God.

Forgive those time and time and time again,
Even when they are sour,
Even when their best foots festering,
When they repent, give them loving power,

Show them grace, show them love,
Show them your inner light,
Let them know you’re alright.

Even when they don’t repent,
Forgive them still, anyway.
For they know not the burden they’ve caused,
They might not care anyway,

Forgive them of your own free will,
It’s simple, do it today,
For keeping the burden they don’t know,
Isn’t on their mind anyway,

Your energy is better spent,
Doing things you love,
You know why, right my love?
The impact you’ll make will forever go beyond and above,

But you need to forgive those who once you loved.

For those who hurt you,
The same applies,
You’ll loose your sleep, while they shut their eyes,
You won’t rest until something is done,
So do it now, your work can be done,

For tomorrow you’ll wake,
Your soul is tired,
Restless, broken, you’ll head uninspired,
So you’ll play the same loop, again and again,
Until you do something,
My dear best friend.

Forgive them, even when it hurts,
It’s unjust, unfeeling, and for sure the pain will crust,
It’s ugly, it’s painful, and you didn’t deserve that shit,
That person was an ass to you,
But they won’t admit.

So heal yourself,
And heal your pain,
The marks and the scars from yesterday.



Dear Lord,
I pray for anyone reading this, anyone going through a hard time right now, anyone fighting demons telling them they aren’t good enough, that they are unforgivable, that they can’t forgive, I pray that your love fall upon us, teach us how to forgive. In Jesus name, banish those demons, their lies, their fog and confusion. I pray over everyone reading this today, that you may work in their hearts, and bring light into their life where the darkness is grasping at.
In Jesus name, amen.

Come on over to my website and check out the courses to begin your journey from hurting to healing http://www.inherhearthealing.com


Faith.

Faith.

Faith is not stable,
It’s not a stable income,
It’s not a balanced relationship,
Faith isn’t perfect.

Faith is messy, uncertain… And yet always reliable.

Reliable to get us where we need to go,
Even if it’s not where we wanted.

Reliable to always access what we need to thrive, even if it’s not always how we want it,

Faith is not stable like a freshly laid road,
Faith feels unpredictable, even when it’s firm,

It’s us that is the unstable, unreliable,
Us who wobbles, looses faith when riding stony grounds,
Us who detours, set off on another path,
It’s us that gives up the always faithful path.

Faith is firm, the question I’m asking myself, is me?

Am I able to trust the next step in faith,
Knowing it’s unshattering in His amazing grace,
Faith foot forward because he sent his son, for a wretch, thats me

Bed – our proud and prayer.

Bed – our proud and prayer.

How you put your children to bed,
Is it in anger or with poise?
Routines are stuffy, old and fluffy,
Dated, debated, rigid and hated…
Except for mine which is loved so dearly,
By my children and me,
We are holding it near,
So let me share with you our prayer and proud,
Our night routine isn’t usually loud.

Bath & teeth,
Play & PJ’s,
Book & bed,
Proud & Pray,
Sometimes we run through what happened today,
I pull up the bits that I hold so near,
I tell them something they love to hear,
Then I ask them, what they are proud of each day,
Sometimes its sweet, sometimes its to my dismay,
Then its prayer time, I honour all requests,
Especially when they want to pray for their dad, my ex.

I pray for them, I pray for me, I thank the Lord with a heart of glee,
It’s kiss and a cuddle,
Sometimes a drink,
Then off to sleep for my little kiddy winks!

What does your routine look like?
Do you find them fluffy?
Have you forged your own?

Comment below! I’d love to know 🙂

Self worth.

Self worth.

How much do I think I’m worth?
A crumpled up $100 note?
Am I worth the time to take care of me?
Making me a priority,
Looking after my health?

Do I think somedays I’m a crumpled bag,
Dirtied in the side walk?
Not worth good food,
Or to even find the strength to talk?

How much do I think I’m worth?
Why does it vary so?
Am I different one day to the next,
Should I allow myself to take the blow?

For I am nothing short of Gods creation,
A beautiful perfect art work,
One of his children,
And so, why do I question my value?

I am totally worth the walk to my kids school,
And that extra glass of water,
I am totally worth listening to my body,
After all it’s the temple we are granted.
I am worth more than gold in the eyes of our Lord,
So why do I sit here, day after day and question my own worth?

For I am worth a thousand more rubies,
I am worth more than a pot of gold,
So why do I not think that day after day,
Why do I take the low road?

For sometimes I need a reminder,
That getting close to God can hurt,
Satan’s tricky lies come close,
To purge me from my perch.

Sometimes I need to remember,
The love that has created me,
The God given gifts of creation,
Packed up entirely in me.

Lord I pray, for anyone here reading this that they realise their worth here on this earth and may you strengthen their ways each day.
In Jesus name, amen.




Untamed

Untamed

The black sludge a-standing,
Its audience applauding,
As it takes a grand bow on the stage,
It’s grimacing smile, it’s eyes will toil, and it’s sharp tongue is flicking around,

The heaviness of a lie so strong, it’s taken up this part of your soul,
So deep, so dark, so heavy and sharp,
It’s words piercing through sound like a sword,

So dangerous, unsafe, the “feelings” escape,
Giving whiplash to your soul,
Tearing down your ego at night,
Haunting your mind and keep you in flight,
It can’t get you when if you’re settled and cool.

It will freeze over, dry up and crack,
When the truth and light reflects upon its soul.

It will block your sun,
Squash your thoughts,
Scream and fight inside your soul,

It can’t be burned,
It can’t be earned,
The lies it keeps spewing from its hole.

The pits of despair,
Raging around everywhere,
The deep dark area of my heart,
Shaky and frail I stand with my sayin,
I will soften myself to you.

It rises up and shreaks,
Relinquishes it’s keep knowing I am saving my soul,
It screams and it squeales, it makes my earth quake,
As I expose the dark pits to my soft side.

A place for it to lay,
Frozen like dried clay,
Never to rise again,
Frozen in Time, it will crumble away,
It’s tried to have it’s say,
Forever now shut it will lay,

It was black sludge,
Made up of nothing more than Pixi dust,
Mostly my imaginary thoughts,

Exposed to the light,
It’s forever frozen in flight,
No more wrenching my soul,
It can’t tighten it’s grip,
From my throat it has slipped,
Fallen to its never more hole.

Dear father in heaven,
I pray for my heart, my mind and my soul,
Revoke any thing in me that is not from you,
Any thing complicated & everything untrue.
In my holy fathers, great providers sons name,
Amen.


Cry out in the dark.

Cry out in the dark.

I welcome in the ugly feeling,
Suffocating.
The shame, the guilt and and welcoming the blaming,
Deflecting, rejecting, negotiating,
Souls on the line, I’m suffocating,
The empty, the hurt, the suffering,
The silence, the boredom, disengaging,
Self sabotaging,
The frustration, the headaches, the isolation,
The banishment, undetected,
Living a lie, always breathing,
Fighting, shouting, blasting of my lungs,
Headaches spinning round, heads on the pound,
The hurt, the heavy, the empty in my soul,
Rupturing above the sky high cloud,
Scaring, the blasting, the sound of my cry,
From deep in my soul on the darkest of night.

Lord, I pray that you be with me now, in the valley of darkness you’ll be my rod and my staff and you’ll comfort me. In Jesus name, amen..




Unpretty Truth.

Unpretty Truth.

Backlap is the rap that haunts me to the core,
The screaming, the yelling, the reflection of my soul,
Built up in my children, my voices of the past,
Haunting, crying, demanding my time more, more, more.
Tag teaming, the screaming, no room for a breather,
Twelve year Olds up in the shits-a, crying poor.
Tense from the thought of school holidays, can’t face my fears, my own cryings poor.
Healing is hard, it’s ugly truth,
Right up in my face until I hit the roof,
Traits from my parents all bottled up tight, flying off the handle is how I saw them fight,
Now I am an adult, they belittle me, for they see their ways, so ugly,
I need to heal, my mind wants to hide, the deep dark hole is what it fears inside.
In I dare peep, ready to shine that light, blazing in my soul from the creator of right,
The one who walks with me through the shadow valley, the one who walks with me when things are full blazing,
I haven’t forgotten to be grateful to you, the one with the guiding rod, and the souls flashlight too.

Thank you God for watching and being with me on my healing path. Amen.