Marks and scars from yesterday

Marks and scars from yesterday

Holding space for the feelings,
Letting them flood in,
Quiet, meek and selfish,
The emotional lords come in,

Telling me lies and fakery,
Got the tricks up their sleeves,
Uninterested, bland, distasteful,
The doubts start creeping in.

You’ll be alone forever,
Way to stuff that one up,
You have no time in the world,
It almost makes you wanna hurl,

The lies and the fakery,
Confusion and the blame,
Anger and unforgiving,
All end up the same,

Stinking, festering, taking a-hold,
Gripping fast on its prey,
Bunkering down for nights on end,
Waiting for it’s victory day…

But festering feelings never come to much,
And that’s not what I’ve been told,
Straight from the word of the mouth,
From our great and mighty God.

Forgive those time and time and time again,
Even when they are sour,
Even when their best foots festering,
When they repent, give them loving power,

Show them grace, show them love,
Show them your inner light,
Let them know you’re alright.

Even when they don’t repent,
Forgive them still, anyway.
For they know not the burden they’ve caused,
They might not care anyway,

Forgive them of your own free will,
It’s simple, do it today,
For keeping the burden they don’t know,
Isn’t on their mind anyway,

Your energy is better spent,
Doing things you love,
You know why, right my love?
The impact you’ll make will forever go beyond and above,

But you need to forgive those who once you loved.

For those who hurt you,
The same applies,
You’ll loose your sleep, while they shut their eyes,
You won’t rest until something is done,
So do it now, your work can be done,

For tomorrow you’ll wake,
Your soul is tired,
Restless, broken, you’ll head uninspired,
So you’ll play the same loop, again and again,
Until you do something,
My dear best friend.

Forgive them, even when it hurts,
It’s unjust, unfeeling, and for sure the pain will crust,
It’s ugly, it’s painful, and you didn’t deserve that shit,
That person was an ass to you,
But they won’t admit.

So heal yourself,
And heal your pain,
The marks and the scars from yesterday.



Dear Lord,
I pray for anyone reading this, anyone going through a hard time right now, anyone fighting demons telling them they aren’t good enough, that they are unforgivable, that they can’t forgive, I pray that your love fall upon us, teach us how to forgive. In Jesus name, banish those demons, their lies, their fog and confusion. I pray over everyone reading this today, that you may work in their hearts, and bring light into their life where the darkness is grasping at.
In Jesus name, amen.

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That is not me.

That is not me.

I knew there was a disconnect, between who I am and me. Something that doesnt align, and breaks my heart to see. The way I parent my inner child, is my mum, and is just not me… So how would I parent myself, if I erased my mum and parent the parent I can be?

I would take all the clocks down, remove all devices, send my kids for outside time, and take down the threats of violence against devices.

My children have exhausted me, all up today,
Whinging, questioning, talking and talking, I have dreamed of doing the walking.

I would have a quiet house, alone. Kids playing happily, but it really ain’t the norm.

Breaking out of my mum’s mould gently, in the strongest way I know. Quietly, quietly, attention to me, I am on my way home.

One for the women…

One for the women…

Oh I’m feeling bogged down,

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Smashed by my body,

Attacking itself,

Because I didn’t create life,

My bodies inflamed, 

Its hot to the touch,

Uncomfortable, squeezing, expanding too much,

Drained, faint, dehydrated, disconnected,

Unengaged, tired, selfceare out the window.

I need another drink,

Anemia on the brink?

I can’t even comprehend, let alone think.

My body is screaming,

Pushing at me,

And I am responding by utterly ignoring.

I’m ignoring the aches,

The pushing pain,

The bloating,

The headaches,

That constant energy drain,

I gotta get up, 

I need to move now,

When all my body wants to do is go fast to sleep.

I force myself awake,

Needing to parent some more,

Putting up with screams, 

I fear there will be more….

My eyes are hanging,

Half out of my head,

As I start my to do list before I head to bed.

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